6 months

As of last week, I have been in Japan for 6 months now. I'm halfway through my adventure. It's pretty hard to believe! I feel torn. As though, I just arrived but have also been here for eternity. Life here remains to be a constant roller coaster. Some days, I just don't want to leave Japan and some days I can barely leave my apartment because I feel so homesick. I have to admit though: I am in a much better place emotionally than I thought I would be at 6 months. I figured by the 6 month mark I would be over this whole experience. I would be homesick and stressed. I thought this would be my low point. While I do totally feel those things sometimes, I still have those wonderful moments when I have to pause, soak it all in, and just stand in disbelief thinking: THIS is my life. How amazing is it that I can just hang out in Tokyo when I feel like it. Call friends to go have a beer or go to karaoke. I may not have a million friends here, but I have learned to just travel by myself and be okay with it. I didn't expect that from myself. In America, I was a social butterfly. I always had friends to call or plans with my boyfriend. I never took myself out anywhere. After all, I thought, who goes to dinner and a movie by themselves? Maybe I've just grown to be more of a loner here. Maybe I just justify myself by thinking that I don't have many friends so what else am I supposed to do? Maybe I'm just more confident in myself. I was never the type of person to feel sorry for myself so I certainly wasn't going to let myself stay in all weekend and mope. I don't know if it just hasn't come yet, but I still don't feel like I've hit "the low point" with this job. I haven't just sat around all weekend sobbing from loneliness or just thrown my hands up at work and wanted to give up and go home. Is it sad that I would even expect that from myself? Or that I would expect every job that I have to make me feel that miserable? I'm kind of cautiously hopeful that I will never reach this point while I'm living here. It kind of makes me want to stay her for another year knowing how comfortable I am at the job. I genuinely enjoy it! But then, I remember all of the friends and family, people that I love, that I have for me back in Chicago and my heart aches. I miss everyone so much. I couldn't bear to be away for another year.

Let's do a quick rundown on some aspects of my time here.
1.) The job: I've really loved this job. I know a lot of my friends complain about it but I still think it is great. I get to work with a new group of kids everyday. About 75% of them even want to be there and want to learn. I've gotten used to the companies way of teaching things and can easily come up with lesson plans and props. I love it. I think it is a much better fit for me than my job in the States was. I also especially like not ever having to deal with parents lol
2.) Friends: While it has been MUCH more difficult than I thought it would be to make friends here, I do have a couple of good and wonderful people that I have befriended here. They are kind, adventurous, and open. We all are having common experiences with being foreigners in a strange land and that allows us to really bond I feel. I must admit though that this experience has really shown me how shy I can be. After college, you really don't have to try too hard to make new friends and I felt like I was rusty at it. I was shying away from people a reluctant to approach other foreigners who were just hanging out at the same bar as I was. I'm trying so hard to get out of my shell a bit more like I was in college and I've made a couple of new friends recently who have helped me feel more like I am accomplishing this goal. A part of this though is also that I have a boyfriend and many of the other foreign guys I meet are not looking for a friend. That shuts me off to meeting more new people right away. Let's just say this is still a work in progress.
3.) Travel: I've seen a lot of places and a lot of things. I'm pretty satisfied with where I have gone so far although I'm starting a list now of all the places I have yet to go and see. I hope this will motivate me to do more on the weekends.
4.) Language: This is one area that I am pretty disappointed in. I'm normally really good with languages. I can pick them up and understand then quickly. Hasn't been the case here. I just feel like I haven't learned much Japanese. I'm definitely happy that I can now understand at least all of the things that they ask you about at the convenience store but I most definitely cannot hold any semblance of a conversation in Japanese. I'm sure part of it is that I really am not exposed to too much Japanese. At work, everyone speaks English and I speak English all day. Surprisingly, I have learned to read a lot though! I think this is due to the trains. They have everything in English but sometimes I get bored and just start reading the signs in Japanese. I know somewhere between 150-200 kanji which is pretty impressive. A part of it is also my fault because I have not been actively studying...oh well...
5.) Food: What can I say about food? It's still awesome. I adore the food here. Japanese food rocks! I've tried so many new things and loved most of them. I'm pretty sure natto was the only unpleasant food experience I've had.